If there is one thing I have learned this year, it is to love: receiving and giving LOVE. Mahirap ipaliwanag kung paano ko yan napagtanto kasi ang dami kong pinagdaanan recently at ang sarap-sarap magreklamo sa buhay, but hey, sino bang tao ang walang problema. All of us are broken, one way or another. But we cannot fall victims to such brokenness. Gasgas na yung quote ni Will Bowen na “Hurt people hurt people.” because we always have the choice to use it to heal ourselves and others. Believe me, I have been there- deep and dark, and it is natural for us to wallow into its depth for some time. But sometimes we have to check ourselves, because we might be stuck there for too long, that we make it as an excuse in not taking charge. I used these periods of my life as an opportunity to discover things that I have taken for granted all these years: things about myself, other people, and God. Hindi ako religious na tao, but I find it really comforting whenever may special moments kami ni God in silence. Kakaiba yung feeling pag kausap ko siya. Masaya. Sa sobrang saya, hindi mo mapipigilang umiyak dahil boom! niyayakap ka niya ng pagmamahal. I just can’t believe that I am being loved by this amazing God, who is a perfect father, brother, best friend, lover, mentor, and savior, not to mention that He is actually a King of the largest and only eternal Kingdom. By what I have gone through, my King has actually thought me what sacrificial Love the truest kind of love meant.
It means letting go when you wanted to hold on, and holding on when you wanted to let go. It means not giving up on people, but giving them enough space to grow, to learn, to fail, to love, to hate. Giving them the choice to stay or to go, even if their decisions will hurt you and tear everything apart. Keeping the hope for their return, even if the odds say they will never do. Forgiving and accepting their weaknesses, strengths, and characters. Being brave enough to embrace the pain. Clinching to the fact that nothing will ever be constant but change. Detaching yourself from their words. Taking in the reality that these people you love can and will disappoint, hurt, and break you, but you will never have the willpower to return to them the pain because you knew how bad it hurts, and you knew you deserve the outcome of the better choice.
But at the end of the day, nothing can ever match the sacrificial Love of God. He sacrificed His life, His greatness, so that we may live. And He continues to inspire us to commit to that one purpose that we are made for in this world, which is to Love. So keep it as an open door.
-Ayana Therese B. De Mesa
For my pieces of poetry, visit a collaboratory page with some friends at http://yosi-break.com/tagged/Ayana-De-Mesa .Thanks a lot for dropping by! 🙂