Today, I woke up with a smile. I can’t help it, I am thinking of you. I know that I told myself many times about letting go, moving on and all, but what can I do if you are the reason behind this smile?
As much I want to get mad at you, I can’t. It’s not your fault anyway that I had set expectations on my birthday. haha!
Aside the smile, I have this bittersweet feeling. I don’t know. Maybe I am just scared. Perhaps I fear for that day that I won’t be able to talk to you this much again. But I do not want to focus on this fear nor on the possibilities of pain and sadness. I want to focus on our friendship, of this happy feeling you bring to me before I sleep. I want to focus on these new memories that we make.
I wanted to see you, to hug you tight and tell you that I miss you. But I guess it is not the right time yet. When would be the right time? Perhaps several months from now? Next year? 5 years or 10 years from now? Or maybe NEVER? I don’t really know, so I just want to live in the moment and celebrate whatever we have today.
I will just enjoy this warm, fuzzy, and happy feeling that you have brought to me today.